Live. Life. Alive.
before anything this is my sole felings, and i am not pleasing anyone, i mean no offence and am so sory for my terrible grammar as i am more used to write in mandarin.
damned i'm telling you i hate this cuz i cant type mandarin in this god-dammit mac...
it's awesome-ly beautiful, but ga-dammit- awkward for me.
came to singapore today. i wonder just why, i always used to tell myself i dont like singapore (no-offence, just bullshit) but i feel so moved, when i am here.
i cant tell is this the after effect of all what we learnt during our primary school time where all the teachers told u u should be patriotic and love ur country, these is ur home and here is where ur 'blood-spilled' land. i would just go around and tell ppl,: ok, though i dont love malaysia, i dun hate it either, think i like it as the way it is.
but everytime i came over to singapore, i have a minor cultural shock i guess. i wonder why, i dreamt of living here. i hate the traffic. i hate the way some singaporean used to talk and act, i hate it cuz it is too and always crowded,. i hate it as it is too well-organised, i can hardly breathe when i need to.
it's extremely disgusting when u are facing conflict within ur heart and it is a matter of feeling, whereby, so seriously sorry, there is no standard to jusde whether is it politically or emotianlly correct.
i might just messed up myself.
am i really the one that love te nature and prefer to back to innocence and enjoy a country life, or am i actually a urban geek? can i really go and goal my life without he pursuit of wealth as i usually said? think i like this piece of land simply cuz it's filled with chinese?
i was so distracted by myself.
gosh.
then my heart sank, as soon as i took the mrt.
i saw someone who is so undefined-why, but remind me of myself and my heart. it's like a devil.
it's someone resemble to non who you ever meet, but u are bursting out feelings when it stands right infront of you, looking toward ur eyes as you are looking toward its.
it give hints and tell no story.
it taunts ur emotion and feeling.
it's a desert's mirage, it happened, banished, and was so bitter-sweet.
it's a devil.
it haunt and creeping over my soul. it tempted me with the very worst side of me.
i am so moved, once when i heard she said that "i love you, because of who you really are." i cried out. i never expected. while being so insincere, i cant even be honest with her, i cant help.
once i had a wishful thinking. perhaps, after all it's not about what iam seek off, but what i own.
soon, i was proven dream s just a dream. i am so faked when i cant be honest with myself.
depressed, i made my worst decision ever when i was talking to her back then.
i still remember she held my hand so soft but so true.
yet i am deceiving her for a reason that i myself cant tell.
it was a nightmare when who you are and who u act is totally different.
admitted that we are better in friends after a silly break-up that marks an end to a twinight romance.
she taught me a lesson.
i cannot be anyone but real me, if, i, am looking after my happiness.
she had her heart broken, so am i. but so hard to tell, if i dun maintain the cruel character.
geez, certainly, i cant lie.
hmph, frends who all knew me would tell, from my face. and i hate it. cuz i am a biggrst liar i ever met in my life.
and now back to me, sitting infront of the screen, with my fingers flying, i wonder, could i really seeks after my happiness again.
i am not emo.
this is a feeling.
hells of bullshit out there is acting emo and teling the world their big value of life thought they thmself might not ever experience it.
they say they know.
they are emos about it.
i am so sorry, if that's the definitions of emo. i am thinking and feeling.
i am just too laid-back to pursuit for my life.
i spent way too much time waiting and looking...
the secret laying within me.
a burden which i prayed for 19 year that i wanted to let go.
it's a story, told and unfold.
i wish to fall in love again. someone. and somewhere.
i wish to be who i am.
i wish to live my life as who i was borned to be in this life. and, live my life better after life.
i wish to life as a human again after life.
i wish to be borned and live in different novelity, country, enthic, races, gender, life, wealth, and story.
it's too little for me, to live only in this once.
i once pray for money.
i once pray for love.
once pray for true brother.
once pray for twins=pal.
pray for study.
pray for success.
pray for changes.
pray for eternity.
now i pray, for life.
i'ma live my life.
and i wish it to be a story unfolding.
i wish for the day, when i can finally free.
i wish for my after life, i can acheive the dream that is to daring for me now.
i wish i live.
i wish i alive.
I wish i am alive and living my life, in an order how i am born to live.
I am praying and wishing to no god, but to my life.
damned i'm telling you i hate this cuz i cant type mandarin in this god-dammit mac...
it's awesome-ly beautiful, but ga-dammit- awkward for me.
came to singapore today. i wonder just why, i always used to tell myself i dont like singapore (no-offence, just bullshit) but i feel so moved, when i am here.
i cant tell is this the after effect of all what we learnt during our primary school time where all the teachers told u u should be patriotic and love ur country, these is ur home and here is where ur 'blood-spilled' land. i would just go around and tell ppl,: ok, though i dont love malaysia, i dun hate it either, think i like it as the way it is.
but everytime i came over to singapore, i have a minor cultural shock i guess. i wonder why, i dreamt of living here. i hate the traffic. i hate the way some singaporean used to talk and act, i hate it cuz it is too and always crowded,. i hate it as it is too well-organised, i can hardly breathe when i need to.
it's extremely disgusting when u are facing conflict within ur heart and it is a matter of feeling, whereby, so seriously sorry, there is no standard to jusde whether is it politically or emotianlly correct.
i might just messed up myself.
am i really the one that love te nature and prefer to back to innocence and enjoy a country life, or am i actually a urban geek? can i really go and goal my life without he pursuit of wealth as i usually said? think i like this piece of land simply cuz it's filled with chinese?
i was so distracted by myself.
gosh.
then my heart sank, as soon as i took the mrt.
i saw someone who is so undefined-why, but remind me of myself and my heart. it's like a devil.
it's someone resemble to non who you ever meet, but u are bursting out feelings when it stands right infront of you, looking toward ur eyes as you are looking toward its.
it give hints and tell no story.
it taunts ur emotion and feeling.
it's a desert's mirage, it happened, banished, and was so bitter-sweet.
it's a devil.
it haunt and creeping over my soul. it tempted me with the very worst side of me.
i am so moved, once when i heard she said that "i love you, because of who you really are." i cried out. i never expected. while being so insincere, i cant even be honest with her, i cant help.
once i had a wishful thinking. perhaps, after all it's not about what iam seek off, but what i own.
soon, i was proven dream s just a dream. i am so faked when i cant be honest with myself.
depressed, i made my worst decision ever when i was talking to her back then.
i still remember she held my hand so soft but so true.
yet i am deceiving her for a reason that i myself cant tell.
it was a nightmare when who you are and who u act is totally different.
admitted that we are better in friends after a silly break-up that marks an end to a twinight romance.
she taught me a lesson.
i cannot be anyone but real me, if, i, am looking after my happiness.
she had her heart broken, so am i. but so hard to tell, if i dun maintain the cruel character.
geez, certainly, i cant lie.
hmph, frends who all knew me would tell, from my face. and i hate it. cuz i am a biggrst liar i ever met in my life.
and now back to me, sitting infront of the screen, with my fingers flying, i wonder, could i really seeks after my happiness again.
i am not emo.
this is a feeling.
hells of bullshit out there is acting emo and teling the world their big value of life thought they thmself might not ever experience it.
they say they know.
they are emos about it.
i am so sorry, if that's the definitions of emo. i am thinking and feeling.
i am just too laid-back to pursuit for my life.
i spent way too much time waiting and looking...
the secret laying within me.
a burden which i prayed for 19 year that i wanted to let go.
it's a story, told and unfold.
i wish to fall in love again. someone. and somewhere.
i wish to be who i am.
i wish to live my life as who i was borned to be in this life. and, live my life better after life.
i wish to life as a human again after life.
i wish to be borned and live in different novelity, country, enthic, races, gender, life, wealth, and story.
it's too little for me, to live only in this once.
i once pray for money.
i once pray for love.
once pray for true brother.
once pray for twins=pal.
pray for study.
pray for success.
pray for changes.
pray for eternity.
now i pray, for life.
i'ma live my life.
and i wish it to be a story unfolding.
i wish for the day, when i can finally free.
i wish for my after life, i can acheive the dream that is to daring for me now.
i wish i live.
i wish i alive.
I wish i am alive and living my life, in an order how i am born to live.
I am praying and wishing to no god, but to my life.
Comments
Post a Comment
你怎么说？ Say something.